June 18, 2018

I can’t buy my books for a book signing using my trust fund.  I’m not allowed to make a profit from my trust.  The government probably wouldn’t help me.  I can’t work according to the government.  I have to buy bus tickets that are one hundred and seventeen dollars for forty tickets.  My new care company is still processing stupid paperwork even though I hired them in April.  Bus tickets are included in my budget plan with my care company.  Advocates always lie to me about how fast they can do anything except for my care agency, the wheelchair vendor, and the best case manager who gets calls from people when I’m out.  The wheelchair keeps acting up, but I figured out the problem.  I spent two hundred dollars on a new wireless head array system.  I keep writing, moving onward, despite these problems.


The Ache of Bourdain

June 18, 2018

The death of Anthony Bourdain has hurt the world.  He was a great writer encouraging us to look beyond ourselves and travel.  Writing is lonely, demanding, and hard career.  Authors are hard on themselves.  It is never good enough.  I wanted to die after Mom passed away.  Sometimes I think about how much people love and care about me when I’m down.  Suicide isn’t an option for me anymore.  It would hurt too many people that I love.


June 6, 2018

Yesterday I was gone the entire day.   I spent the day at the Memorial Union and I went to my bar to watch the NBA Finals.  An attendant came to feed me and used the bathroom.  I ate a hamburger, fries, and ice-cream cone.  My attendant said that I shouldn’t be spending money.  I save most of my money except for female entertainment and the computer.  Plus, I’m finally earning money from having two part-time jobs.  After Mom passed, my sister told me to enjoy life.  This is my life and I’m enjoying it.


May 23, 2018

Three years ago Governor Walker decided to establish two programs for long term care for the elderly and people with disabilities.  The counties used to manage long term care for residents with special needs.  The purpose was to give more options to the disabled while saving the state money.  The first program is called Iris which is a nonprofit and a self-directed allowing disabled people to manage their care plan budget with the help of a broker.  The second program is Family Care, which a profit care management business for hundreds of disabled people who are often incapable of managing their care plan budget.  Sadly, residents of group homes don’t get showers on the weekends since there is only one care attendant working the weekend and sometimes during the week.  Also, residents can only go out twice a week unless they “go to work” and services are being cut or eliminated like my home bound roommate’s weekly massage was eliminated.  It was not medical necessary.  The massage was the highlight of his week.  Why are we taking away things from people who have so little?

I’m not writing this week.  I’m working my two part-time jobs critiquing papers and rewriting meeting notes.  I will make over two hundred dollars this month.  I’m still unemployable and I will always be. And Care Wisconsin wants me “to go to work.” I’m just a failure and a statistic to the system.   I don’t care.  I’m an author.

Livin’ the Dream

May 7, 2018

Life is so good.  Saturday I went to a group book signing after going to the farmer’s market.  I talked to authors who I know and talked shop.  Authors are the best medicine for me.  They remind me how far I have come since Mom has passed.  When Mom passed, my dear friend, Patti, who retires in two weeks from Madison College offered encouragement and wisdom as I struggled with my new life.  I wanted to quit but Patti wouldn’t let me.  My counselor who is leaving to live in New York has me seen grow into a man, overcoming life challenges.  Saturday night I went to my bar where I greeted with a beer and danced with a woman.  This is life and I am living it.  And Care Wisconsin wanted me to stop going to my bar because “We can’t be liable.” And I was told that I only two times a week since I don’t “Go to work.”  Care Wisconsin lost an author after reducing the funding for my care and to many disabled people in order to make a profit for their shareholders.  Wisconsin is slowly going back to institutions for long term care.  Sunday I was at the Memorial Union and I saw another writer.  We talked.  I see how much people care about me while enjoying the beautiful afternoon on the terrace. Attendants come and go.  Some say that no one cares about me, but I know better.

Just do it.

April 9, 2018

Writers say that they can’t write.  I have published two books and written another book in three years.


April 4, 2018

April means the writing conference, being with writers, pitching to agents, and dreaming of becoming a New York author.  That’s why I have a career.

It’s my sister’s birthday this week.  I dearly love her.  She is passionate, sensitive, caring, and stubborn like me.  To me, she is the most beautiful woman and a great mother.  I admire her.

Happy Birthday, Mom

March 12, 2018

It’s Mom’s birthday this week.  She has been gone for almost three years.  Time keeps flying by.  Life is still strange without her.  I’m independent now, but I miss her.  I’m making you proud.  Thank you for everything.