Writing about Intimacy Is Not Intimacy

Writing a romance novel makes me want her more. I can envision getting to know her as a person like Misty or Amber. I talk to women sometimes wondering if they see the real Steve. I don’t think they often do, but once in a while, a woman will come up to me to engage in a conversation. It always surprises me. A woman said I was handsome, but of course, she was married. No single woman would ever be interested in me. I fantasize about it but it won’t happen that way. My debit card is frozen again. There was an international charge on it. So, I’m waiting for a new card to arrive. At least I got cash when I was at the bank. The bank won’t flag the card if I subscribe to a dating website. I had to argue for that. I want female attention and sex. I have been here for almost a year and I had sex twice. That wasn’t the idea when I moved in. It’s frustrating. I don’t just want to write about having a girlfriend. I need to experience it. I still haven’t taken a shower with a female. That’s on my bucket list. She is out there. But where? Someday I will find her.