February 22, 2016
“You have to wait, Steve,” “Steve, I’m on my lunch break.” “I need a break to eat.”and “Steve, I’m going out for a smoke. I’m tired!” I hear these comments all day from my care attendants each day. They sit around complaining about how tired or broke they are while nothing gets done. My attendants think that they can talk on their cell phones when they want. Their telephone conversations disrupt me, waking me up or making it hard to concentrate on writing. They forget that I pay rent to live here. This is my home not a business or a company! They take control of my TV! Then they expect me to be nice all of the time which is not always possible. People do get mad or upset sometimes. I’m no exception!
February 14, 2016
“Is life worth living?” ask myself more and more. Life has become too hard at times. Some care attendants don’t even care about their jobs. Work doesn’t get done! I just keep writing one day at a time. When I see these disabled people like my poor roommates who sleep all of the time, it makes me wonder. Will I become like them? I don’t want to like a vegetable. I rather be dead. I remind myself that I have a career, an agent, a sister, nieces, the English family and the people. I’m very lucky! I must keep moving forward without feeling sorry for myself. Onward, Steve
February 8, 2016
It’s Valentine’s Day this week. I’m surrounded by women. There is my real sister, my nieces, “the sisters,” my college classmates, female care attendants and strippers. I will never have a girlfriend or sex, but I will have women to talk to. Life without women would be dull. Women make the world go around.
February 1, 2016
Writing at night is the only way that I can write now. The house is too noisy during day. Life is stressful dealing with my agent and my attendants. One night a week I go to the strip club to escape life. Gorgeous naked women say my name and talk to me while rubbing their breasts on my head. They rub their buttocks on my boney knees, smiling at me. For three hours I can enjoy being a man, escaping my hectic life.