Happy Birthday, Sue

March 27, 2016

It’s my sister’s birthday this week.  My sister is most beautiful woman that I have ever known.  I truly mean that.  I haven’t been a good brother to her.  For that I sincerely apologize.  Just us now after Mom has passed.  I love you, Sue.  Thank you for everything.


March 20, 2016

I started the process of getting an electric wheelchair in December.  A physical therapist, my doctor and a wheelchair vendor need to work together in a thirty-day window to submit their paperwork to Medicaid to approve the chair.  The physical therapist didn’t do the paperwork and the wheelchair representative never came to measure me for a seat.  I was promised a new electric wheelchair in four months.  Of course, I didn’t believe it.  I really wanted to avoid this hassle, but I need an electric wheelchair to shop and go out.  Do I really need an electric wheelchair?  No.  I need an electric wheelchair to be mobile.  Just give me a computer to write and I will be happy.


March 14, 2016

It’s eleven pm and I’m emailing my agent.  The house is quiet now.  My roommates are asleep or watching TV.  It’s still early for me.  I won’t go a bed until four am since it’s difficult to write because the house is noisy during the day.  My agent emails back, keeping the author’s dream alive.  The author reads the agent’s email with tears in his eyes.  I’m a real author!  I tend to forget that living with my roommates.  Someday my agent is going to email me one late night with a book deal and the house will think I’m psycho.  That will happen someday.

This week is Mom’s birthday.  It doesn’t seem real that she is gone.  I’m alone now.  Of course I have family and friends who love me but not like Mom.  You were amazing!  I took you for granted all those years, spoiling me.  I’m paying for it now!  No care attendant can compare to you!  You were always there to talk to.  When I got mad at you, you just forgave me unlike some of my attendants who hold grudges.  Oh Mom, how I miss you!  I’m ready for the conference.  Two books, Mom!  New York is near.  I will succeed!  Then I can sleep!  I have kept my promise that I made to you about moving forward, but sometimes I just want to die.  But I have a lot for do yet.  I know!  It’s just hard, Mom.

This week is my Aunt Nancy’s birthday.  She is the monarch of the family and the last remaindering member of her generation.  We all love her and came to her when we had problems.  She always listened offering a suggestion or told us what to do in a subtle manner.  Nancy smiled at us, giving us a cookie or one of her homemade cinnamon rolls.  Those days are long gone.  Aunt Nancy is home bound now severe arthritis and other health problems.  We all have careers now and the family is scattered across the country.  We think about you, but our fast pace lives take over.  Happy Birthday, Nancy. 
Happy Birthday, Nancy.  I hope that you are well.  I’m doing well.  I’m a busy man, working on new wheelchairs, a communication device, writing two books and getting ready for the writing conference in April.  Days are very long, working until four in the morning and getting up at noon.  I take naps when I’m very tired.  That will end in April when my roommate moves out and I get my office.  Then I can go to bed at a decent hour.  I have been killing myself because I want to be a New York author and I have to do everything now.  In fact I do my own grocery shopping, but I always go over my gift certificate and return some food back.  I’m learning still.  I eat vegetables, fruit, meat and of course ice cream.  But I miss Mom’s cooking!  I get the some of the female staff to cook for me because the guys don’t know how to.  Most of my attendants are Africans!  It’s pretty interesting to listen to them talk in their language since they talk rapidly and in simple broken English.  We don’t understand each other sometimes, but they are very loyal, kind and hard working.  My agent is coming for lunch in April to my house to talk.  I’m a real author, making decisions.  There is an adult manuscript about Mom and becoming independent that I’m pitching to agents at the conference.  It’s the best manuscript that I have written.  It’s very hard to read and write.  I’m proofreading it now.  Lindy keeps me company at night.  Sue, John and Jenny are back in my life.  Family is important.  I understand that now.  My network of friends is there for me.  It’s not easy, but I like it.  I’m in control, not Mom.  Well, Nancy I have homemade macaroni to eat for supper.  Please don’t worry about me.  I’m an adult even though John disagrees.  He is a mother hen.  But I don’t listen to him.  Love, Steve