November 29, 2015
I should have been an African major not an English major. Most of my attendants are Africans. It’s interesting to listen to their rapid speech which is a combination of simple English and different languages of African. Sometimes I don’t understand them, but that’s okay they don’t understand me either at times. They are loyal and hard working caring people. One of my African Attendants calls me affectionately, “His brother.”
November 23, 2015
November 15, 2015
My case manager will come over to my new home to do the year review. She will ask me if I’m depressed. I always laugh at this stupid question every year but I don’t know this year. The holidays are coming and Mom is gone. I don’t know how to feel without her. It was just me and Mom all those years. It’s strange without her. I’ll manage.
November 8, 2015
I finished the final edit of my middle manuscript at three on Wednesday morning. Then I emailed it to my agent! I slept for five hours before going shopping at Walmart for winter clothes. Then I spent the evening at a strip club getting a lap dance. Thursday I was back writing my second manuscript. That’s an author’s life!
November 3, 2015
It’s been five years since my nonverbal friend committed suicide. It still doesn’t seem real that he is gone. I have kept moving onward with this writing career. My seventh manuscript is being written. I’m an author, but I’m not really published. People have read articles that I have authored. Sometimes I forget how far I have come toward making a name and having an impact. At times I don’t know what day it is when I write until the early morning hours! A book is close to being published! I want this so much! An overnight care attendant says that he has a job to do and I need to go to bed at eleven. This attendant has told several times by supervisors that I can go to bed when I want. It’s quiet and peaceful here at night that’s what I need right now! My agent is very proud of me and my people are too! That what drives me! I have to do this because of Mom and the English people! This is our dream! Suicide is an option but I can’t quit now and the English family needs me! When Mom died, I just wanted the English people. They challenged me to live! I’m not a typical disabled person. I’ll be a New York author. This attendant who I like needs to let me fulfill this dream. My life is about writing two books by January. I can do anything that I want according to my people! Now I have realized how much I’m loved and cared about. My friend didn’t know that. I’m really lucky!