August 28, 2015

One of my roommates called the police today, claiming that the staff wasn’t taking care of him after he called a female attendant a bitch.  He wanted to get up, but I had to get up early to meet my lawyer.  My other roommate went somewhere.  He just eats and sleeps most of the time.  Meanwhile I’m working with my lawyer and my agent, making big decisions for my future.  They live a simple lie.  I say my final goodbye to Mom on Saturday.  Thank you, Mom for making me the man that I am today.  I will keep moving forward, I promise!

I’m on my own, now.

August 25, 2015

My family buries my mother on Saturday.  I’m on my own now.  My family and friends have gone back to their lives.  I’m back writing and editing.  Life doesn’t stop for an author waiting to hear from New York.  Two publishers have rejected the book, but I’m strong.  Mom was strong and raised me to be strong.  I’m adjusting to my new life.  Mom would be proud!  I’ll keep nobody forward with my promise to Mom and I’ll say that to Mom one more time when I say my final goodbye.  And just maybe I can tell her that we are published!

Take good care of me

August 18, 2015

“We’ve to take good care of him, ” said one of my care overnight attendants to another attendant.  But then the first attendant makes me go to bed before eleven beds; he is tired from doing a double shift.  I didn’t want to go to bed, but I didn’t want to make trouble.  This is my house; that’s what I have told them.  My staff needs to realize that I hear everything they say about me.  That’s the author in me.  I work as hard you do.  My life has been turned upside down in a matter in a month.  My Mom passed, my agent lied to me, I moved, I start a new life living with two roommates and my book is in New York.  That’s stressful for anyone.  Plus, I’m working with my lawyer and making funeral arrangements for my mother.  I’m very tired, but I have to keep moving forward.  You have a privilege of caring for a New York author we hope.  All that I ask is that they take good care of me and let me enjoy my life.

When I was an adolescent, I attended a summer day camp for disabled children in Racine.  The camp counselors treated me like a counselor.  We talked about college which was my dream.  I fell in love with a female counselor.  She was physical attractive to me.  We spent hours together talking.  At the end of the sixth week the summer camp held an overnight campout at the campgrounds.  I was allowed to stay up with the counselors after the campers were put to bed to drink beer around the campfire.  After most of the counselors went to bed, I stayed up with the female and a male counselor.  She said, “Steve, let’s go skinny-dipping.”” No,” I said, since I had taken a “dump” in my pants.  I was too embarrassed to ask to be cleaned up.  She stalked off to her tent.  In an instant I knew that I had made the biggest mistake of my life.  It will haunt me until my last breath.

It’s a new life, Mom.

August 17, 2015

I sat at the end of the sidewalk staring at the perfect blue sky with white wispy clouds talking to Mom.  “Mom, I have to keep moving forward, ” I said, waiting for the bus to take me to the strip club.  I was doing something fun on my own for the first time without my cousin or brother-in-law.  I was doing something forbidden by Mom.  “It’s a new life, Mom,” I laughed, thinking I had the perfect title for the next book.  I get to the strip club.  There are no naked women, just music and lights.  I sat there with another disabled guy, blaming Amber, Christine and Jessie.  My favorite women were hiding the naked women from me on purpose.  But then a brunette came out and stripped.  She smiled and talked to me.  I still have my charm!  I have her email address, but I can’t make out the email address!  I watched naked women for an hour.  Of course the bus was early, but I left with a big smile on my face.  The book goes to eight publishers this week. I moved last week.  It’s a new chapter of life and just maybe we’ll be published.

The American Dream

August 10, 2015

The American dream is dead the sixteen Republican candidates claim.  Americans always want more than they have now.  What is the American dream exactly?  The American dream is about working hard day after day with sweat, tears, sacrifice and belief.  It isn’t given.  You have to push people sometimes to make your dream happen, and at other times you have to be patient.  I learned a lesson this week.  After being patient with my agent for six months to edit my manuscript, I received an email from her saying that she was still editing it.  I pushed her to finish it!  The next day it was edited by my agent.  I expressed my emotions to my people calling myself a failure which I’m not.  They reminded me of that!  The book goes to eight publishers in New York this week.  That’s an author’s life.  I move on Wednesday.  My roommates and staff don’t know what they are getting into living with an author but neither do I.  This is the American dream living on my own and pursuing my career.  Nothing is given in life … that is what we tend to forget.

Thank you, Leisure.

August 10, 2015

I want to thank a care attendant who subs for me when I have had care attendant problems.  She is the most dedicated attendants to her clients.  She is a fun loving Viking fan waking up her clients early with her voice echoing loudly from this small woman.  The clients will miss her silly songs like “This Is The Way That You Brush Your Teeth” and her Viking hat.  She will be a Special Education kindergarten teacher.  That’s perfect for her!  Leisure, I wish you nothing but best.  Thank you for everything!

Life Happening

August 4, 2015

Scott Walker doesn’t like answering questions.  Imagine living with care attendants who don’t know you that well or understand you.  You are thrust into the real world one night when your mother who has taken care of you for forty seven years suddenly passes away.  Simple questions like when do you eat or what do you want to wear can take time to be understood, but I do my best.  My mother made all of my decisions for me except writing decisions.  Now I have to make big decisions like where to live, hiring a care agency to care for me two days after my mother passes, adapting to the new attendants, going places like the bank to take out money and meeting my roommates.  I’m an adult now living on my own.  I already fired one care attendant for not cleaning up me enough after I had bad diarrhea.  I’m taking care of myself!  Meanwhile I’m waiting to hear from my agent about whether a publisher accepts my book.  Most people would have a mental breakdown, but I keep moving forward.  I have to,but negative thoughts creep into my mind like I’m a failure which I’m not.  My life is just starting.  While our regressive Governor dodges questions the real author moves onward.  My people are just an email away.  My question to the Governor is how would he handled the situation that I’m now?  !